The 50 First Bumps
by Will the Weird
Summary: We all know how James loves Lily dearly and how Lily hates him equally but when an outrageous bet was made to end the disputes, they end up seeing the line "The road to romance is a little bumpy" in a whole new light...Please read it, it's not so bad...
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer: **

**Oh How I wish I own thee**

**The characters that you see**

**But JK Rowling is the genius behind it**

**And I am just a humble twit**

50 first bumps

A Lily and James Fanfic

Capter1-The Coincidences

It was a usual Thursday afternoon and like any other day James Potter, one of the most popular 6th year in Hogwarts, was annoying Lily Evans, a fellow 6th year.

"James Potter! Stop following me around!" yelled Lily exasperatedly.

"You know what you have to do to make me stop, Evans," James said knowingly.

Lily let out a groan and started to walk around the field she and James have been running around for 2 hours. Lily Evans isn't the most beautiful girl around but everyone was wondering why James was positively drooling all over her and why won't she go out with one of the most popular boy in their school? Well I guess those two are the only one who'll know the answer to that.

"James Potter! If you don't stop following me, I-I will," _what was she going to do?_ Lily asked herself. She mustn't show that Potter that she was unsure… but honestly, what was she going to do? Sure enough if she tried to hex James, she would just end up making a fool of herself. Because James did have more experience in dueling out of bullying Severus Snape.

"Will What? Evans," said James. He seemed to have noticed Lily's expression, "Are you going to hex me?"

"No I won't because I don't partake in such violence unlike less mentally inclined people like you!" Lily said sharply.

"Oh Come On, Evans! You know you want to go out with me!"

"No I don't and the only way I will ever go out with you is if fate suddenly gets twisted and binds us together in which I am sure is impossible!" Lily spat and started towards Gryffindor Tower.

"I can make anything possible, Lily if you ask me to," James whispered which was quite inaudible to Lily because she was already inside the common room.

Lily woke up tiredly the next morning maybe because she was busy telling James to unglue himself from the chair beside her bed all night. Lily wondered if it was already Saturday because if it wasn't then the night was really long.

"Lily we have Double Transfiguration after breakfast so hurry up!" Lily's roommate/ best friend, Alexa Deux screamed.

"Coming?" Lily said in a singsong voice. As soon as Lily got down the stairs she was greeted by her other best friend, Gary Springton.

"Hey Lily! Look at what I got," Gary threw Lily a bloody doll. Gary was very fond of really weird stuff but Lily wasn't so she jumped back and hit a tousle haired boy.

"Sorry—You?" Lily said when she found out that the one she had hit was James Potter.

"Me," James asked cheerily. "What do you need Lily dearest?'

"I do not need anything from you!"

"Well since you purposely bumped into me I assumed that—"

"You assumed wrong Potter and I did not purposely bump into you!" Lily stormed out of the common room, Alexa and Gary following her silently.

"I think I'm finally getting along with her," James said as Lily left.

"It is a breakthrough since she didn't call you a nitwit, arrogant, idiot and what was that other word again?" Sirius, James best friend, added.

"Wanker?" said Peter helpfully.

"Warmer," Sirius said.

"Jerk?" Remus said.

"Oh Yeah,"

"I know isn't that great?" James said brightly.

"What I wouldn't want to give to get Potter off my back," Lily muttered. She and her friends were eating blueberry muffins for breakfast.

"You could give him to me," said Alexa. Lily glared at her.

"Or me," Gary added silently. That made all three of the laugh. Then suddenly a food fight started. The food fights in the Magical World is quite different in the muggle world. It was done by levitating food to someone's face or garment. Someone must've made a mistake and instead of levitating Lily's muffin it raised her Transfiguration book. Lily dashed to reach it but it seemed impossible because everyone was standing up to throw food to someone. When Lily was 2 meters away from her book she decided to make a jump for it. But when she did she landed on someone. Someone with ebony black hair.

Hope you like it…pls. REVIEW


	2. The Bet

**Disclaimer: **

**Oh How I wish I own thee**

**The characters that you see**

**But JK Rowling is the genius behind it**

**And I am just a humble twit**

Chapter 2-The Bet

Lily turned to look at who she had hit and found James Potter sprawled to the ground but instead of him giving her one of his famous grins he was groaning in pain.

"Oh God James!" she cried. Then everyone turned to look at the scene and had a worried expression in their faces except James closest friends who looked at James knowingly.

"Are you going to help him or not?" Lily asked impatiently.

"Why don't you ask Mr. Great Actor there if he's alright?" said Remus. Lily felt her face pale and turned to James angrily.

"Potter," she spoke through gritted teeth, "Are you alright?" James looked up at her and grinned.

"You!" Lily yelled.

"Me," James said innocently, "Honestly Lily before we get into another heated argument about my insolence I just want to say that our "You, Me" pattern is starting to be a habit and that's not the only thing that's becoming a habit. I think you have grown to love being pushed against my manly figure so I suggest you admit so we can go on a date."

"I do not like to bump into you," Lily said icily.

"Then how can you explain the many times you have bumped into me?"

"I don't know! It's just an accident!"

"Well I know… It's called fate," James said surely, "Things Like this happen for a reason and for someone so smart you're not very observant…"

"James Potter, It is not fate! It is merely a coincidence," Lily reasoned stubbornly.

"How can I make you see that we are meant to be?"

"Stop rhyming Potter it makes me sick,"

"I know! Since you are quite fond of being pushed against my manly figure, why don't we have a little bet?" James said putting one arm on Lily's shoulder. Lily pulled back.

"What kind of bet?" Alexa interrupted.

"Oh Alexa, Please don't tell me you're interested in this!" Lily said.

"I'm sorry Lily but you did say that you want Potter off your back and this bet may help you," said Alexa. Then everyone around them nodded in agreement and James grinned at Lily hopefully.

"I cannot believe you people! Do you really expect me to participate in such an insolent act that only people with brains the size of fleas celebrate (she cast a hand carelessly towards James and his friends)?" Lily spoke angrily.

"Evans, I'd understand if you do not want to rid of me," James said innocently.

"We'd understand Lily," Sirius added and the other marauders nodded.

"Fine! Fine! What are the terms?" Lily waved her arms in the air as if signaling defeat. James smiled deviously.

"If I manage to bump into you for 50 times this month you will go out with me for two whole months" James explained.

"What do I do and what do I get?" Lily asked.

"All you have to do is to try to avoid bumping into me though I'm sure you'd find that hard to do (James winked) and if I am not able to fulfill the task needed for me to win then I will leave you and your friends alone but if I win then we date for 2 months then after that you can decide if you want me or not" James replied. Lily thought about it for a moment. _If I win then I rid of Potter but if I lose then we'll have to date but that is quite impossible, I mean 50 bumps, hah! It's too impossible... I'll have nothing to lose in the long run…_ Lily thought.

"So decided anything sweet pea?" asked James.

"I'm in," Lily replied.

"So it will start October 1, Lunch time and end November 1, lunchtime," Gary announced.

"Good Luck James… you may find me hard to catch," Lily said threateningly.

"Oh Not really many women have said that before and were not able to resist my charm and fell desperately on my lap…" said James confidently. Then a scream was heard from the Slytherin table where something had exploded.

"Mr. Potter! This is your doing!" Professor McGonagall cried.

"My heart is broken by your assumption Professor… how sure are you that it was my doing?" James said innocently.

"Oh you happened to have left this," McGonagall showed a drawing of Potter sticking out his tongue and something was written below it, it read: "Slytherin's suck!" A Reminder from James Potter (Mischief Maker Extraordinaire and Quidditch heartthrob)

"Ooops," James said looking not the least bit surprised.

"Well let's go to my office," McGonagall pulled James by his ear and dragged him out of the hall.

"Well Lily-ouch-dearest I have to go, Places to go-ouch-people to see-ouch- hope you don't miss me too much," then James disappeared with a great deal of complaining about his ear.

"Honestly I don't know how he's going to date you when he spends more of his school life in the dungeons scrubbing floors…" muttered Gary as everyone started to go to their next class.

"Knowing James he'll find a way," Alexa said. Lily felt her stomach churn… _that's what I'm afraid of_ she thought

…_X…._

_If you want to give me credit for actually trying to write a fic or if you have violent reactions or irrelevant questions or you just like my fic I recommend using this rating system…_

O- Outstanding and why?

E- Exceeds Expectations and why?

A- Acceptable and why?

P- Poor and why?

D- Dreadful and why?


	3. The List

**Disclaimer:**

**Oh How I wish I own thee**

**The characters that you see**

**But JK Rowling is the genius behind it**

**And I am just a humble twit**

**Chapter3- The List**

"Peter! You're crushing my delicate toes!" a voice said. It was already past curfew and the marauders were headed to James' detention to help him-aaaaand-make things explode.

"Sorry-here-I'll just-whoaaa!"

"Aaaaah My hair! My hair!"

"Sorry Remus… Sirius, are you okay?"

"oooglegeep…bgleeep..urk…berk..elp?"

"Sirius this is no time to play a creature from overactive muggle imagination…"

"Oh wait Moony… I think my wand's stuck in his throat… I'll just get it" Then some tugging sound could be heard and Peter flew out from thin air and toppled on the ground.

"I have my voice back!" Sirius squeaked. The invisibility cloak was removed and out came Remus.

"Not quite Padfoot… You sound like a mouse" Remus said irritably.

"For your information I haven't seen you like that when Peter's Sonorus charm backfired on you and you sounded like a strangled mouse…" said Sirius.

"Well… Well… so much for using the invisibility cloak," a voice spoke. The three marauders spun to see a bespectacled boy standing right behind them and were leaning in a wall crossing his arms. "In any case you're wondering… It's supposed to be placed over you not on the floor"

"Jamie-poo we missed you! Where's are other favorite buddy, Filch?" Sirius put an arm around James.

"Busy again… some spoiled delinquent put dungbombs in his office while I was doing detention…" James answered coolly.

"What? You didn't wait for us?" Sirius said in shock.

"Okay James you see this is our prophecy….intro Peter," Sirius snapped his fingers and Peter went in the center of the hall kneeling dramatically.

"We used to be just talented kids without a mission but when we met each other we realized that we had an important purpose! Your turn Remus!" Remus also kneeled and spoke,

"We were brought together to cause mischief"

"To torment Filch," added Sirius.

"To add annoyance to the teachers," Remus added.

"To bring entertainment to our house,"

"Don't forget the Slytherins,"

"Oh Yeah and squash them like a bug,"

"And to be remembered for all Time!" The three chorused and Remus and Peter stood up and bowed at the non existent applause.

"Okay I get it… and I'm sorry I just can't help it It's just the marauder in me…" James said after the-er-performance.

"Well Prongs we can't stop that can we so why don't we head for a little snack?" Sirius looked hungrily at the direction of the Hogwarts kitchen.

**After their little trip…**

"Okay so Prongs I guess we can bring out the list now," Remus said to his friends who were hungrily scavenging the scraps of wrappers and candy boxes on the floor.

"Oh Sure..," James said between mouthfuls. Remus pulled out a long roll of parchment that read_, "DIFFERENT WAYS TO BUMP INTO LILY EVANS"_

"I know this would serve useful one day," said James as he admired at the crooked ways he concocted just to bump into the girl of her dreams.

"There's one flaw," Sirius spoke.

"What is it?" James demanded.

"We only made 49 ways," Sirius replied.

"Oh… That's all? The 50th will be easy!" James said confidently.

"So what do we do on the first week?" asked Peter said while slurping his lollipop then Sirius snatched it from him. "Hey!"

"Why don't we try the first 10" suggested Sirius ignoring Peter's whines.

"Brilliant idea," James said and excitedly read the first 10 aloud.

_In the Common Room, Remus pull Lily's chair and James will be waiting for the bump._

_Sirius fly James broom, James run after Sirius and bump into Lily._

_Remus pushes Lily to James._

_Hit Lily with a door and fall back to James._

_Scare Lily with a plant and she will bump into James._

_Lily avoids a flying piano and while running she will bump into James._

_Lily turns around the counter of the Three Broomsticks and bump into James._

_Get Lily chased by a Hippogriff._

_While fooling around the Common Room levitate James to Lily._

_Throw Dungbombs in the Common Room and bump in confusion._

"Wow this stuff is harsh why don't we just back out?" Sirius said suddenly. Remus and James looked at him in shock and Peter finally snatched his lollipop from Sirius.

"What? You're conceding?" James asked Sirius disbelievingly.

"Course not," Sirius pumped his fists in the air and spoke again, "It's the marauder in me…" the remaining three smiled in relief.

...x….

If you have any Irrelevant Questions, Violent Reactions or if you want to give me credit for trying to write a ficor if you just really like my fic I recommend this rating system…

O- Outstanding and why?

E- Exceeds Expectations and why?

A- Acceptable and why?

P- Poor and why?

D- Dreadful and why?


	4. The Bumping Begins

**Chapter 4- The Bumping Begins**

Lily woke up with a huge bang from the Common Room. She went down to see waves of smoke from dungbombs fill the Common Room and started to look for Alexa and Gary (Gary has an unknown gender… you'll find out in the last chapter though) when she bumped into a most unwelcome person.

"Get out of the way Potter…" she said angrily.

"I just wanted to greet you a most Happy first Bumpaday!" said James cheerily.

"A what?"

"Remus kindly explain to the young lass…" James requested. Remus held out a piece of parchment and read it aloud.

"According to the Bet made specifically at October 1 the official Bumping is to start today so therefore making this mornings bump the first bump of the bet…" Then James started to pretend to cry in Sirius' shoulder and Peter was clapping solemnly.

"I never thought we would reach this far Lilykins…" James pretended to wipe an invisible tear. Then everything clunked into Lily's head. James had clearly set the dungbombs just to bump into her.

"You did this just to win the bet?" Lily bellowed.

"Yep… aren't I sweet?" James said innocently.

"You consider trashing the Common Room to be sweet?" Lily asked disbelievingly.

"Well I did go to a lot of-"

"Forget it! I don't wanna hear it! Just go away!" Lily stormed out of the common room muttering "arrogant prat" "imbecile" "idiot" and the list is endless.

"How ungrateful can you get?" James said trying to look cool but failing horribly as soon as Lily was gone.

"I know, mate… First he wrinkles the branded Hogwarts uniforms and rumples the million dollar hair… just hope and pray she'll smell the enticing cologne you put on…" Sirius patted his friends back while holding back a smirk.

"Yeah but it smells kind of weird today…" James said as he sniffed his collar.

"Uh Yeah about that…." Peter said weakly.

"What about it Peter?" asked Remus.

"You got the wrong perfume bottle…" Peter squeaked. "The bottle you got was frog spawn…" Peter did not know what happened next but as soon as he woke up he found himself in the hospital wing with no more bones left.

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Friday was almost ending when as Lily walked away from a Care of Magical Creatures Lesson and was heading towards her dormitories when she felt a big shadow loom over her and when she turned up to look she found a giant piano about to land on her so she immediately jumped to her right and bumped into—wait for it—James Potter.

"Nice day for bumping into you dear lady…" said James. But Lily could not take it anymore.

"James Potter! You threw dungbombs in the Common Room, Knocked me over by a door, got me chased by a Hippogriff, nearly got me strangled by Devils Snare, levitated yourself to me and now had a piano drop over me? Just to let you bump into me and win a stupid bet?" Lily screamed.

"What can I say Evans? I'm amazed you managed to put all your feelings in one very long paragraph…" James said calmly not even half swayed by Lily's anger.

"At First I only planned on saying two words…" Lily said in a slow icy voice. James jumped back in surprise.

"Ms. Evans! Mr. Potter! What is the meaning of this wrecked muggle artifact?" Professor McGonagall bellowed pointing to the pieces of broken piano.

"You see me and Lily-Poo decided to play a game" James said and Lily gaped at him," It is entitled Wreck the Biggest muggle artifact"

"I cannot believe you are able to do such preposterous things Ms. Evans surely I could have seen James Potter doing this but you anyway I assure you that we will have no more of this… Detention for the both of you and 20 points from Gryffindor… I'll see you in my office to discuss your detention…" McGonagall said crisply and as soon as McGonagall left Lily averted her furious gaze to James. "You annoying!" she moved closer to James and James moved back a little bit a little afraid of what Lily will do but Lily continued to talk, "Pompous…Arrogant… self-centered… idiot.." Lily took a very slow pace in saying this, letting the anger sink in, in every word she said and took off and as she headed towards the Common Room she kept muttering,

" The nerve of that Potter! Nearly getting me killed and lied to get me detention…"

"Hey Lily only 41 bumps to go!" Sirius yelled as Lily entered the Common Room.

"How do you know?" Lily asked suspiciously. Sirius held a round object with the number 41 in the center.

"But that's a counteller! It's only used when you're organizing your tasks!" Lily gasped. The Counteller is used when you have many tasks to remember and its number changes every time you finished a task but Lily didn't know it could also be used for other things especially for a bet.

"You see Lily, Remey is not the only smart one in our group…" and at that Sirius returned to flirting with a fourth year. Then suddenly James Potter appeared screaming bloody murder and was running around the Common Room and was about to collide into Lily but Lily had quickly avoided him and James fell on the floor with a loud thud.

"Serves you right Potter…" Lily smirked and darted towards her dormitory.

James rubbed his bruised face and watched as Lily disappeared when Peter and Remus came in.


	5. Prince Prongs, Duke Padfoot, Adviser Moo...

**Chapter 5- Prince Prongs, Duke Padfoot, Adviser Moony and Juggler Wormtail**

"Well it's about time" said James as Peter and Remus sat around him.

"Where's Paddy?" asked Peter.

"You do realize that if Sirius finds out you've been calling him that again he'll curse you to oblivion, right?" Remus said and Peter choked on his Chocolate Frog.

"You know Sirius only too well, mate…" James said amused at how Peter struggled to eat the ever stubborn frog, "And Sirius is over there flirting with a fourth year…"

"You want me to call him?" Peter croaked. "Oh Wait..." The frog's leg was sticking out of his mouth and was obviously kicking Peter's mouth. So Peter tried to plunge it in but to no avail so he did the most sensible thing someone related Goyle would do… He stuck his wand inside his mouth and -wait for it- something exploded.

"Peter, that was awesome!" Sirius said excitedly as he plopped himself beside his mates.

"Well Glad to see you Padfoot" Then James turned to Peter who was still coughing up smoke and the frog who had finally escaped with nothing but a burnt bum, "And thanks Wormtail..."

"Sure Anytime" but due to the fact that Peter just currently had something explode in his mouth it sounded more like, "Sure (Cough) 'ny (cough) (gag) time (wheeze)"

"You wrestled dirt or something, mate?" Sirius asked James as he studied James bruise and the dirt around it.

"No I snogged a dust bunny…" James said sarcastically.

"Cool…" Peter said in awe.

"Peter I am at loss of words at your idiocy so I will say all my feelings in this short sentence…" Sirius started. " I find your lack to identify sarcasm aggravating and annoying that I would go to as many lengths as to clunk half a dog's brain inside your head or pull the snake that has been biting your intelligence ("Did he have one in the first place?" asked James)-excuse me? Genius talking here…- for the idiocy, dimwitness and the utter stupidness to dissipate!" as Sirius finished his sentence the rest of the marauders had their mouths hanging wide open when Peter finally spoke, "I lost him at Peter… what did he say?"

"He means you're an idiot Peter…" Remus said simply.

"Oh… So why did that last for 5 minutes?" Peter asked.

"O-kay… I know you'll all agree with me if I do this…" Sirius then threw Peter a pillow.

"Thanks Sirius I was wondering when someone would finally stop him…" James said amusedly, "Well… I Prince Prongs wish to have a private conference with you, the members of my kingdom…"

"Yes Of Course, concerning your future princess as usual?" said Sirius lazily.

"Did you think of any other?" Remus said, "well since I am Adviser Moony I shall call out your names and I wish you would have the decency to say, "Present"'

"Duke Padfoot?"

"Present, My Good Man"

"Juggler Wormtail ?"

"Present"

"Well now that the roll is finished I hereby announce the conference to start…" said Sirius.

" Me and the alleged Scarlet of my hearts desire and emerald dove of my life ( "We get it already.." said Remus) moving on- is sharing a detention and I wish to use this as a chance to increase my chances at winning the bet that I have entitled, " The 50 First Bumps"" said James.

"What's with the "First" part?" asked Peter.

"It sounded good at the moment…" answered James.

"I definitely don't know what you see in that Evans girl…" said Duke Padfoot disapprovingly, "Yes she does have a very pretty face and I can't deny the fact that she has sterling qualities" Sirius then was knocked over by a pillow.

"Thou Prince Prongs do not like thine Princess Evans only for her Sexy body and If you do not want to have this pillow for dinner (James held a large velvet pillow threateningly at Sirius) then I advise you to not insult my woman" James said angrily.

"Does that mean that Thou, Prince Prongs chooses a mere princess over a duke, an adviser, and a –er- juggler who are also your best mates? Thine, Duke Padfoot is insulted!" Sirius shouted and Peter let out a small "Eeep!" and fainted.

"Holy Cow –er- I mean…Sweet Mother of Merlin! Juggler Petey has fainted!" shouted Sirius.

"Knock it off Padfoot" Remus said. "Wormtail! Wake Up! Darn! They were only kidding!"

"Can't you wake him up?" asked Sirius.

"Holy Guacamole! It's raining Butterbeer!" James screamed and several students looked at the window expectantly and like lightning Peter stood up and twisted his head in a 360 degrees angle in search of the raining butterbeer to no avail.

"Darn must've missed it…" he spoke.

"What can I say? I know him too well..." said James as Sirius and Remus gave him amused grins. Then all of a sudden something hard hit James. More like, _someone._

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Ugh... awful, awful chapter


	6. Detention with James

**Chapter 6- Detention with James**

"Ooof! Oh hello Lilykins! I had no idea you missed me this much…" James said "Oh and Sirius… kindly take care of this for me will you..." James handed Sirius a small note when a red head stirred from the floor.

"Who-Owns-This?" Lily said angrily while waving a banana peel. When no one replied she continued to speak, "Whoever did this may as well hide because if I find out who did this and In all modesty I'm sure I will, that the person who did this would have his/her foot down his/her throat!" Peter squirmed uncomfortably and Lily turned to glare at him and he-wait for it-fainted.

"Well Lily Love, there's your culprit…" James said coolly.

"O-kay.." Lily muttered sign of shock evident in her face, "I'm-just-gonna-go-bye…" and left the Common Room. Then James turned to Sirius as if looking for assurance.

"I'll take care of it" Sirius reassured. James beamed at him and left the portrait hall in search of Lily.

"So…Evans, why are you off to detention early?" asked James as he caught up with her. "I mean it's only 6:30"

"I'm trying to avoid having to see your arrogant face, Potter" Lily replied irritably as James tried to sling his harm around her shoulders but to no avail.

"Nonsense… I find you weird, Lily Evans…" said James.

"And why's that, Potter?" asked Lily.

"Anyone who does not want to date the handsome man flesh before you certainly has a weird taste in guys…"replied James. Then thundering footsteps could be heard.

"What's that?" Lily yelled. Her question was quickly answered by the sudden appearance of running-oh wait sorry…understatement of the century, I meant-rampaging and screaming students.

"What the bloody hell is going on here? Everyone better stop before I dock points!" but Lily went unheard because Peeves suddenly appeared carrying a feather duster and a paint balloon. Clearly, Peeves has been tormenting younger students again so James and Lily were caught in the middle of the stampede.

"Uuurgh—where are they going?" James yelled as the herd steered them far away from the direction they intend on taking.

"That was AWESOME! Let's do it AGAIN!" James screamed in delight as the stampede had died down and now he and Lily were in the middle of nowhere near the 5th floor. Then Lily started to walk away.

"Hey! Where are you going?" James asked as he ran after her.

"I'm going to my detention" Lily answered through gritted teeth. In her opinion having to be stuck in the middle of a stampede-with James Potter and having to be lost-with James Potter was enough for one night and it was time for their detention. Someone had to act responsibly after all.

"Do you even know where you're headed?" James asked exasperatedly.

"No" Lily replied never stopping in her tracks.

"Fine… I'm going with you…" James said boyishly.

"OH No your not! I'm going the other way!" Lily then steered herself to the opposite direction.

"What? But without me you'll be lost!" said James.

"Ha! I unlike you have a sense of direction and I don't consider having someone as unreliable as you for help the least bit reassuring!" Lily spat and continued on walking.

"Fine, be that way!" (Just so you guys know that's my fave line! Next to the full body Stupoid) James said angrily and stomped off the opposite way where Lily was going. Silence followed when Lily finally spoke, "James?"

"Aha! I knew it! You need my knowledge of the school passages! You need me!" James said triumphantly.

" Uhh-Don't think so…"Lily smirked. "I just wanted to tell you that your nose is bleeding" Lily let out a chuckle and resumed walking.

"Damn her annoying personality…" James muttered as he wiped his bloody nose.

"Serves him right" Lily mumbled as she got down a staircase.

10 minutes later Lily was running towards the caretaker's office.

"Mr. Gurk I'm here for my detention!" Lily said breathlessly. A man with frizzy, blond hair turned around.

"You clean there with Jim Pocker" Mr. Gurk grunted as he pointed to James who was mopping the floor and was whistling a muggle tune. Lily stared –no- gaped at him. He had gotten ahead of her and for once James had been earlier than Lily and Lily felt defeated. James must've noticed Lily's gaze and gave her a cocky grin. Lily returned it with a scowl.

"Oi! Ms. Kelly Ethan! Pick your tools over there!" Mr. Gurk pointed to a small closet and resumed reading a muggle comic book entitled, "Batman". Lily walked towards the small closet and when she opened it a big, black dog jumped towards her. Lily screamed and toppled backwards in a collision with a mop-just kidding- James Potter.

"Hey! What's with the racket?" Mr.Gurk bellowed.

"Nothing, Mr.Gurk" James said as he stood up and then turned to Lily, "What happened to you?"

"I-I saw a big, beastly creature!" Lily was covering her eyes and pointed to the closet. James turned to look and found a tiny mouse scampering to get out.

"Well If you consider a tiny mouse a beastly creature…I assure you it's gone" James said coolly. Lily looked at the closet filled with brooms disbelievingly.

"But I saw it, a big, black dog!" Lily said stubbornly.

"Lily Dearest… I know you crave attention from me but this is ridiculous!" said James.

"I do not want attention, Especially from you!" Lily said angrily and pulled the first tool she reached from the broom closet and stomped away angrily. When James was finally out of sight she noticed that the broom she got had a gooey element attached to it. "Curse you, James Potter!" she said loudly.

"Hello dear Lilykins! 39 bumps to go!" Sirius announced as Lily and James returned from detention.

"Oh Shut Up!' Lily muttered and stormed off.

"So how'd it go?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"Yet, judging from her pleasant mood it went well…" Remus said.

"It did! You were brilliant Sirius!" James said happily.

"I know! I know! Finally you have noticed the great actor which is me!" Sirius pretended to bow from applause that was created by a very happy Peter Pettigrew.

"So James, how did I do?" Peter whimpered.

James recalled the mouse that scampered out of the closet and smiled, "You were-er- good Peter!" Peter positively cried in happiness.

"I hope it doesn't get to your head, Peter" said Remus.

"So you guys do know that we have a Hogsmeade visit tomorrow right?" James said as soon as Peter toned down.

"Of Course, Zonko's here I come!" Sirius said excitedly.

"Brilliant because I may have a few ideas from the list!" James said with a malevolent glint in his hazel eyes.


	7. The King and Queen of Butterbeer

**Chapter 7- The King and Queen of Butterbeer**

Lily awoke in a good mood that morning. She had a dreamless sleep (something very rare) and no explosions can be heard in the Common Room and best of all it was a Hogsmeade weekend. She was smiling all the time until she reached for her closet and out came jumping to her hand an enormous Teddy Bear. That's not the worst part though. It kept saying, "I can't **bear** to live without you" and "Can I give you a **Bear** hug?" (Pun intended). "AAARGHHH!" Lily screamed and Alexa jumped awake.

"What? What? Is James here?" She yelped, her head swiveling in all directions.

"No… But this comes close enough…" Lily held out the Teddy Bear that became attached to her arm.

Alexa relaxed and said "Whew!" she wiped an invisible sweat from her forehead, "I remember that one time when James—"

Lily clasped her hands to Alexa's mouth irritably, "Spare me from the memory"

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Meanwhile in the Common Room, Four boys were talking jovially (Did I just use that word?).

"So what does it exactly do Prongs?" Peter asked lollipop swirling in his mouth.

"It keeps saying—" But before James could continue he was interrupted by a red head's voice,

"Can I give you a bear hug?" Lily had said. James jumped back and ran a hand through his hair.

"Lily! I-erm-what did your lovely self want?" James managed to stammer.

"Oh nothing…" Lily said giving James a fake sweet smile, "Just wanted to thank you for the-er-lovely bear…" Lily gave James a wink and started to walk away when she stopped abruptly. "Oh I wanted to give you your gift back… Theodore!" and with a quick wave she was off.

"Theodore?" Sirius repeated in surprise, "What kind of bloody thing did that mean?"

"Must be Italian…" Peter mumbled when all of a sudden a very large Teddy Bear jumped at the marauders excluding James. The bear tackled the rest and scratched them and pulverized and-well you get the idea.

"Arggh! My nose! My nose! Arrrghhh!" Sirius screamed.

"Your Nose? What about my EyAAARGGGHHH!" Remus yelped as the bear poked his eye. After 12 minutes of this the bear started to walk away.

"That's all?" Peter moaned. Then the bear turned to them again and leaned towards Peter who was sprawled in the floor and snatched his lollipop, took a lick and self-destructed. Stunned Silence followed when Peter finally screamed, "MY LOLLIPOP! MY LOLLIPOP!"

"He had to ask…" Sirius mumbled, "Oi! James! Your wonderful sweet Teddy Bear attacked us so would you be Oh so kind and help us out here?" James just stood there with an unreadable expression so Sirius spoke again, "Oi! Hellooo? Prongs in any case you haven't noticed we need your help here"

"She smiled at me…" James said happily. And the rest of the marauders excluding the still Screaming Peter Pettigrew groaned hopelessly.

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"So what did you do to it?" Alexa asked anxiously. The three were outside waiting for the rest of the students to get to Hogsmeade.

"I may have improved it…" Lily said innocently.

"Really… So turning a lovable teddy Bear into a ferocious monster is now considered an improvement…" Gary said cynically.

"How did you know?" Lily asked in surprise.

"Peter was raving about it like some lunatic…" Gary replied simply.

"Oh…" Lily said.

"How come only Potter escaped the ferocious thing?" Alexa asked. Lily reddened. She didn't exactly know why but she didn't want James to have a bear to destroy his rather handsome face. 'I guess he may seem cute and it would be a waste if his face got distorted…" all these thoughts were buried in Lily's head when something hard hit her.

"Potter! I'm sorry if your eyesight is going bad that you can't tell the difference between these twits (Lily cast an arm towards Sirius and the rest) and me but I will definitely not tolerate being treated like one of your minions which you can pounce on any time of day!" Lily screamed and went as far away from the marauders as she can.

" Erm…" Sirius muttered then a dawning expression appeared in his face and he shouted to Lily, "Oi Lily Flower! Yeah you! Nice trick but you won't make me forget! Only 38 bumps to go!" Lily scowled.

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"Okay… I don't think there's any room left…" said Alexa as they entered the Three Broomsticks.

"Oh well… Let's just leave" Lily said and started to move against the crowds.

"What now, Padfoot?" James cried as he saw Lily start to leave.

"Leave it to me, Prongsie" Sirius waved his wand at a table near to them and was occupied by Slytherins and one of the occupants bag flew outside.

"Narcissa! Your bag from Paris!" cried a blond girl. Narcissa and the rest of the girls ran outside in search for the bag.

"Thanks Padfoot!" James thanked as Gary pointed to the now vacant table.

"Ah Prongs… When will you learn to be independent?" Sirius said in fake disappointment.

"Probably when you guys learn to be more mature a.k.a. never…" said Remus. Sirius and James gave him identical scowls.

"How lucky are we?" Alexa exclaimed, "This table just emptied the same time we came in!"

"Wow… Absolutely Amazing…" Lily said sarcastically.

"What's with the cynical-ness?" Gary asked.

"Lily Flower! Decided to be seated near my wonderful self did you? All you had to do is ask and you'll have a seat beside me!" called James from the next table.

"Oh…" Gary said an expression of understanding dawning on his face.

"Didn't see that coming…" said Alexa while rolling her eyes.

"I'm quite happy with my seat thank you," Lily said icily and started towards the counter. Unknown to her Peter pushed back her seat a little bit backwards.

"3 Butterbeers, please…" Lily said to Rosmerta, a beautiful, young barmaid.

"Here you go, miss" Rosmerta said handing Lily a tray of Butterbeers.

"Thank You" Lily thanked and she started to sit when she found that there was no chair at all, Butterbeer spilled everywhere and bumped into-wait for it- James Potter.

"James Potter! What the-oh Nevermind!" Lily returned to the counter and ordered Butterbeers and when she turned around and for what felt like the billionth time this week she bumped into James again, Though this time the Butterbeers spilled on James.

"Hey what did you do that for?" James complained.

"Oh don't worry… the hat looks quite nice on you…" Lily smirked.

"What?" James ran a hand in his hair and discovered a glass of Butterbeer on his head.

"That." Lily said.

"Well yours isn't quite shabby either…" James shot back.

"What?" Lily then felt a glass of Butterbeer on her head.

"That" James said in the same fashion as Lily did.

"Well aren't they a winning pair…" Alexa laughed.

Sirius suddenly had a gleam in his eyes and spoke quite loudly, "All hail to Lily and James, the King and Queen of Butterbeer!"

"What?" Lily and James chorused. But it was not heard because the rest of the Three Broomsticks were bellowing, "All hail Lily and James, the King and Queen of Butterbeer!" Remus and Peter then held out a placard that read "Kiss" and the rest of the bar chanted the word.

James started to lean closer to Lily and Lily did the first thing in her mind.


	8. The Tournament

**Chapter 8- The Tournament**

"You guys have to help me get this off!" James cried. The Hogsmeade trip was now over and the marauders were sitting in there favorite seats in the Common Room.

"No Prongs!" Sirius said passionately, "She disfigured your face! This is not to be taken lightly!"

(You guys lost? Here's a flashback)

_Flashback_

_The crowd was chanting even louder and James was leaning closer, Peter and Remus were holding the placard like maniacs. Sirius was laughing uncontrollably. Lily's sweat was dropping profusely and everyone else was looking at them anxiously._

'_Damn it! What do I do?' Lily thought to herself. She gazed at James eyes and felt a longing to kiss him too._

'_No! This is wrong! James is the enemy!' and at that thought a strong fist hit James squarely in the eye. Lily feeling triumphant walked away nonchalantly._

"_Ow! Padfoot it was not supposed to go like that!" James cried._

"_Well… She is feisty… Isn't that supposed to be a turn on?" Sirius said hesitantly._

"_Dammit! When are we ever going to use this?" Remus held out a placard saying, "OOOHHH"_

"_Or This…" Peter too held out a placard saying, "Applause"_

"_James, when are you finally going to kiss Lily Evans? So we can stop holding this out every time" Remus held out the placard that said, "Kiss". "We've been holding this ever since 3rd year!"_

_End Flashback_

"I must admit Prongs it was very rash of her…" Remus added silently.

"Exactly!" Sirius exclaimed with a weird glint in his eyes, "We must get back at her! Someone is threatening to disfigure Prince Prongs face, ("Isn't it disfigured already?" Remus said and he got hit by a pillow)-excuse me? - Well as I was saying… Someone is threatening to disfigure James face and we can't allow James to take that lying down will we? We must squash Lily like a bug and leave her evil little body dumbfounded at the powers of the marauders!" The rest except James clapped in agreement.

"Hello? This is Lily were talking about! You know? My soul mate and we don't want to deprive her of her physical attributes and ability to move before we even date, marry and have a kid we would call Harold and besides it would be easier if we just get this black eye off!" James snapped. Yes, he has been thinking of his future life with Lily as his wife. They would live in Godrics Hollow, they would have a boy that would have his fantastic good looks, natural abilities in Quidditch and Lily's marvelous eyes, and he would be named either Harry James or Harold James like his Grandfather. Yes, he was that obsessed.

"A kid called Harold?" Peter asked disbelievingly.

"I've been thinking of my future so sue me!" James reasoned causing Sirius and Remus to double in laughter.

"What's so funny about that? I haven't seen you laughing when we caught you mumbling about proposing to that Hufflepuff girl you were smitten with in your sleep!" James said angrily.

"How could he forget about that?" Remus said in between fits of laughter. "Oh Arabella! Will you marry me?" Remus did an impression of someone disabled proposing.

"Knock it off!" Sirius demanded.

"Yes Remus, Knock it off. You are doing the wrong impression!" James corrected " It goes like this!" James lay on the floor, and did an exaggerated proposing formation and dramatically bellowed, "Oh Arabella! Will you run off with me in the glorious sun that will turn our bodies into ashes before we even have our 1 hour kiss?" and James ended it with a loud smoochy sound. Sirius was about to hex James when a certain red head interrupted.

"Tell me James… Who is this Arabella whom you have found more fascinating than I?" Lily said and James jumped back quickly and collided with Lily.

"Good idea, Lily Flower" Sirius said looking impressed.

James ran a hand through his hair and said, "Yes Lily, wonderful idea but you didn't have to do that it's quite obvious that your jealous…"

"What? Why would I be jealous?" Lily yelled.

"It's quite obvious so don't try to hide it… You came here just when I was doing an impression of proposing in the hopes of charming me to forget Arabella but to make it look like you didn't care…" James replied coolly. Lily stared at James in shock and at loss for words.

"Am I right?" James said giving Lily his famous Potter grins.

Lily seemed to have her voice back and hissed, "For your information Potter I do not give a damn even if you do as much as to snog a girl in front of everyone here!" James was about to retort when Arthur Weasely, a 7th year student interrupted.

"Wizard and Witches of Noble Gryffindor!" he started, "I wish to announce the beginning of the wonderful tradition Gryffindors have become accustomed to, **The Prank Tournament**!" he was welcomed by loud cheers and applause.

"Well… Now that that is over I'm here to once again announce the mechanics…" another student said.

Anyone above the 4th year is allowed to join.

You can sign up with any of the judges, Arthur Weasely, Frank Longbottom and Alice Clementine.

You can only have one house to target the pranks to, does not include Gryffindor.

You must leave calling cards with your codename in the scene of the prank that only the judges can identify.

The awards are the title, King and Queen of Pranks.

The Basis for winning is how you execute and how big the prank is.

The end of the tournament is on October 29 and the announcement of the winners is October 30.

Deadline for signup is Wednesday.

As soon as that was over the rest of the Gryffindors were all psyched up.

"Of Course I'm gonna enter! I won last year!" Sirius said proudly.

"Don't forget that I was the one who won during our 4th year…" James interrupted.

"Well… don't expect competition to be easy mate…" Sirius said threateningly.

"I'm not entering" James said simply. Sirius let out a genuine gasp and almost had a heart attack.

"Help him! He's Hyperventilating!" Peter screamed.

"I'm on it!" James aimed his wand at Sirius and a jet of water flew from his wand drenching Sirius from head to toe.

"Thanks… I think I had a nightmare… You said you weren't entering the Prank Tournament…" Sirius gasped.

"It was not a dream Sirius…" James said and Sirius handsome face distorted in shock and he fainted.

"I'll get the smelling salts…" Peter volunteered.

"No need Wormtail… we can just help Duke Faintfoot here later…" Remus then turned to James, "Why are you not entering?"

"I'm much do busy doing more important stuff…" James said casually.

"Does that important stuff happen to be "The 50 First Bumps"?" said Remus.

"Of Course!" James said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and maybe it was. Without Lily he'd probably end up Hyperventilating like Sirius.

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Bump Countdown: 35 Bumps to go!


	9. Rotten Cockroach Clusters and the Crimin...

**Chapter 9- Rotten Cockroach Clusters and the Criminal they speak of…**

The Hogwarts kitchen was filled with house elves and food during day but at midnight it was eerie and empty and not to mention quiet and a normal Tuesday night was no exception.

"Okay! I think were here already… What are you twits waiting for? Let's go!" and did I say quiet?

"We'd love to Prongs but you see, you're gigantic foot is pulverizing our delicate toes!"

"Oh Yeah… I meant to do that…" and with a swish of a cloak four boys appeared in the middle of the kitchen.

"Sure you did…" Sirius said sarcastically.

"Of Course…" James said missing the heavy sarcasm, "Okay! Same drill boys! Duke Padfoot, the cupboards, Adviser Moony, the fridge and Juggler Wormtail take watch!" James said quickly and the boys scrambled to their assigned position.

"Okay! I've got some peppermint toads, cakes, pastries and EEEW!"

"What has happened Adviser Moony?" James looked over to Remus side and Remus held out a rotten Cockroach Cluster.

"Cool! Put it in the bag, Adviser Moony!" Sirius said excitedly.

"What?" The three marauders excluding Sirius shouted in disgust.

"Have you lost your marbles?" the three chorused again.

"Stop saying things together! It's freaky!" Sirius complained.

"And he calls us freaky…" Peter said, "What about that Cockroach Cluster?"

"We could use this for the big Prank Tournament!" Sirius said his eyes gleaming with delight.

"Yeah…I guess… Who do you have in mind?" asked Remus.

"For something that preciously disgusting we need someone like…." Sirius smiled evilly at James and James smiled at him the same way.

"Snivellus…" They both said slowly.

"And he complains about the freakiness of saying things together..." Peter said helplessly.

"But I'm not touching that…" Remus complained.

"Well then… Juggler Wormtail pick it up!" James ordered.

"But I'm a juggler! Jugglers don't do things that disgusting!" Peter protested.

"Fine! Juggler Wormtail you are demoted to be the Royal Garbage Picker! Now pick that up!" James said impatiently.

"Garbage Picker a.k.a. Janitor! Now get moving Peter…" Sirius added.

"Good friends you lot are…" Peter grumbled as he placed the cockroach cluster in the pile of goodies.

"Filch is coming to check the kitchens!" Sirius waved a map in the air, 'the Marauders Map'

"Okay! Duke Padfoot, Adviser Moony, Royal Garbage Picker Wormtail assemble inside the Invisibility cloak!' James announced. The four of them scrambled into the Invisibility cloak just in time and managed to slip past Filch.

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"Okay! Can I have some of those Peppermint Toads now?" James reached for a Peppermint Toad but Sirius slapped his hand.

"Ow! What did you do that for?' James hissed.

"We still have a meeting to tend to!" Sirius said impatiently.

"Fine, I the hungry Prince Prongs announce the meeting to start!" James announced. "Why have you called this meeting, Duke Padfoot?"

"Thank You Prince Prongs… I wish to discuss to you about the supercallifragillisticexpialidocious marvelous, superb, flabbergasting, amazing, and wonderful hmph?"

"We get it, Duke Padfoot!" Peter clapped his hand to Sirius' mouth.

"How dare you disrupt me, I"

"Duke Padfoot what do you wish to discuss? And kindly lessen the adjectives…" Remus interrupted before Peter was beheaded.

"I am asking you for your help in the upcoming Prank Tournament!" Sirius said proudly.

"We will help you! Meeting adjourned! Please pass the Peppermint Toads!" James announced.

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Back in the Girls Dormitories Lily and Alexa were having a meeting of their own and there was orange light waving around.

"Stop with the Lumos already! I know you can do the spell so quit showing it off!" Lily said irritably.

"WHOA! I'm sensing bad vibes here why don't we try to relax?" Alexa said imitating a mystic voice, "Ohm…Ohm…"

Lily repeated and she felt her body relax.

"Okay!" Alexa screeched causing Lily's relaxed nerves to almost pop out of her.

"Alexa, I am this close to clobbering you!" Lily made a sign with her fingers that indicated how close she was to breaking down.

"Fine, why did you call on this Conference Princess Lily?" Alexa said importantly.

"Well, Duchess Alexa, I wish to discuss about a stubborn criminal…" Lily replied. "Criminal P-O-T-T-E-R"

"Mmm… what about him?" asked Alexa.

"He just won't leave me alone! I want him to give up on me or just make him lose the bet!" Lily whined.

"That is difficult… Very difficult…" Alexa scratched her chin thoughtfully, "Let me think…"

"Hope you don't hurt yourself…" Lily said and Alexa glared at her.

"Give me more of those chocolates and I may just find a way!"

"Here and your plan better be good…" Lily handed Alexa a large chunk of chocolate.

"Never doubt a Genius ma'dear Princess" Alexa said.

"I never did but this is you were talking about isn't it?"

"Never mind…" Alexa grumbled. "Well you've tried shouting and running away from him… Why don't you chase him?"

"I don't want to look like I like him after I have established the fact that I despise the mere memory of him and I, Princess Lily will never chase a boy for as long as I need my dignity!" Lily announced stubbornly.

"Well… Maybe if you busy yourself with stuff you can avoid him better…" Alexa suggested.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"Well if you busy yourself and not strain yourself from looking for him the entire time-just let me finish- if you become busy then he may have a harder time looking for you…" Alexa explained.

"I guess… but there has to be something really big to keep my mind off watching my back all the time…" Lily said and the two started to think.

"I know!" Alexa finally exclaimed.

"What is it?" Lily urged.

"_The Prank Tournament_." Alexa said slowly. Lily's face then glowed in delight.

"You're a Genius Alexa!" Lily squealed.

"Finally, My Genius is noticed!" Alexa then suddenly frowned, "But we don't know any pranks…"

"'Hey you're a genius and I'm talented we'll figure that out eventually…" Lily said carelessly. "I dismiss the hearing of criminal P-O-T-T-E-R! Oooohhh! Pass the Pumpkin Pasties!"

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James bribed Peeves to chase Lily and bump into him and Lily's book magically flew away and as she was running she bumped into James and something exploded in the girls loo and the Charms Classroom in the span of 2 days so:

Bump Countdown: 31 Bumps to Go! The 2nd Week is not over yet….


	10. Cactus Confessions

**Disclaimer: Oh How I wish I own thee**

** The characters that you see**

**But JK Rowling is the genius behind it**

**And I am but a humble twit**

**Chapter 10- Cactus Confessions **

It was a hot Wednesday afternoon. "Perfect for a Herbology lesson" according to Professor Sprout.

"I'm going to show you an amazing plant today!" The professor squealed and everyone listened attentively. Even James managed to stop looking at Lily's back.

"It has an amazing defense! It can survive days or even years without water!" The professor paused to allow OOOHHS and AAAHHHS to enter the room.

"What is it professor?" Lily interrupted leading James to stare longingly at her-again.

"It is…" the professor squeaked. Sirius managed to close his open mouth to tap his table as if creating a drum roll. Peter was turning purple from suspense and bit his quill too hard that it snapped. Without a quill to put tension to, he fainted and fell back from his chair.

"It is…" the professor repeated more loudly. "A Cactus!" All the muggleborns groaned but the rest were eyeing the plant the professor was holding with great interest. But James was in a world of his own. (A world filled with lilies and dancing little prong babies which chanted "Lily and James") leading him to nearly jump out of his skin when the professor thrusted the cactus so close to his face.

"Try to be more attentive Mr. Potter" Professor Sprout said disapprovingly and resumed gliding around the classroom while showing off "the amazing plant".

"Merlin, James, try to be more attentive!" Sirius said obviously annoyed. "You nearly made Sprout drop the plant."

James gaped at him. "Something definitely went wrong while I was daydreaming" he said. "Moony, Did anything weird happen?"

"Besides Peter fainting after snapping his 35th quill and you drooling continually… Nope, everything's normal…" Remus replied.

"Oh" James said. "Professor, what are we going to do with the _cacshos_?"

"Cactus!" Sirius interrupted through gritted teeth. James glared at him and listened to the Professor's reply.

"Just discuss its physical features and structure with your partner and I expect you to take notes… so pair up!"

"C'mon Sirius, Were sitting with Evans!" James said forcefully and dragged Sirius to Lily's table. ("It's a Cactus! How could you get that wrong? You bloody git!") while ignoring that.

Alexa saw James and Sirius nearing them and spoke to Lily, "Er- Lil? Can you promise me something?"

"Sure what is it?" Lily said distractedly as she observed her cactus.

"Can you promise not to scream any time soon?"

"Huh?" but before Lily could process what Alexa's words meant, James slipped his arms to her waist and all hell broke lose. First, Lily shrieked and nearly jumped out of her skin bumping into James causing her cactus to fly away but Sirius was able to catch it before it broke while muttering. "How could the let it fall? Nearly dropped it! No consideration…"

James thought it was over and let out a small chuckle, but he was wrong.

"How could you make the Common Room explode, Send a wild Hippogriff loose, Drop a piano over me, nearly get me strangled by Devil's Snare, bewitch your broomstick to massacre me and Merlin's beard! Send Peeves after me and STILL REMAIN SMILING?" Lily paused for breath and continued. "WHY? POTTER, WHY?"

"Because--" James started.

"Because you want to win a bet? that sure is reasonable"

"Because—" James tried again.

"Because you want to date me? Now that sure makes it better…"

"Because—" James tried again sounding a bit annoyed.

"Because you want to gain-hmph!" Lily was not able to continue because by that time James pulled her coser to him and began shaking her.

"Will you just let me continue?' he growled. Lily clamped her mouth shut as it was the first time James showed hostility towards her.

"Okay… Lily Evans, I like you! And I know that somehow even how many people think it's impossible I know that you will play an important role in my life, and all I'm asking is a chance, a chance to get to know me better, to see beyond the annoying toerag you hate so much and feel the same way I do the moment you do…" James paused to look at Lily's eyes. Those eyes that he could just stare at forever, and he knew that divulging all his deepest secrets to her is right. "So what do you say we just quit the bet and save us all the trouble and just date? Just one, it couldn't hurt you…"

_Oh, you drive me crazy  
Oh, you just bring me down  
Look out your window  
my sunshine's all around  
all you have to do is just surrender, just surrender_

Lily was numb for a second. James actually liked her. In all his years of annoying her, never did she think he actually fancied her. Sure he spent nearly everyday asking her out but for all she knew it was for a challenge but now she knew it was beyond that. Lily, not knowing how to deal with this other side of James did the only thing she did when around him. Yell or refuse him. She tried her luck with refusal.

"No." She finally said.

"What?" James croaked. His face etched with hurt and confusion.

"I will not quit your bet just because you fed me a well structured line that I'm sure you expect to make me weak in the knees. Well I'm sorry but unlike all the other fluffheads you've dated I'm different… The bet is on…"

_I waited here for so long  
Thinkin' that you'd see  
You just kept on runnin' away  
You make your misery my company_

"So the bet is still raring?" Sirius interrupted.

"Yes" Lily said coldly.

"Well then…" Sirius said "Behold the amazing cactus! It will devour you!" Sirius threw it forcefully to Lily. Lily ducked and it nearly hit Alexa but she jumped back and bumped into James.

"Well it's not how I expected to end up like." Sirius muttered.

"Well… any other idiots who wish to worsen my mood?" Lily announced. No one answered so she started to go out of the greenhouse to yell her frustrations in the hallways.

"Wait! Lilykins!" Sirius jogged to catch up with her.

"What?" Lily half-shouted.

"UUUHHH… Lily before you go ballistic and scream your marvelously impressive lungs in the hallways, I just wanted to ask you what strength you have in your puny and fragile body that allowed you to escape the great, venomous plant which is the cactus?" Sirius spoke quickly.

"Because I read books that state that the Oh-So-Venomous plant you speak of is just a harmless desert plant…"Lily replied coldly and stormed off, Alexa hot on her heels.

Sirius turned to his best friend who still looked hurt and confused and spoke "Well it didn't turn out that bad…" James pointed to the cactus Sirius threw which was already crushed on the floor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sirius screamed.

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"Oh c'mon mate! Stop moping around" Sirius groaned. James was on his bed all bundled up that night refusing to talk to anyone.

"I told her everything and she still hates me…" James croaked.

"It's just a front! Why, I think she turned 5 shades of red while you her professing your love"

"She did?" James said, voice starting to sound normal.

"Yeah! Meaning you still have a chance! So why don't we brainstorm ideas to win the bet during dinner?"

James jumped out of his bet and exclaimed. "Yeah! I am going to win that bet or my name isn't James Potter!" then suddenly a loud growling sound emitted from James' stomach. "After dinner of course" he added sheepishly.

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"Lil's, why don't you just give Potter a chance… he obviously likes you…" Alexa said suddenly. They were already preparing for sleep.

"Did you actually fall for that speech he said? It's just an act to finally get to date the undatable, and impossible to get girl which is me"

"You mean you don't believe that he likes you?"

Silence

"Let's just think of pranks… I've already signed up…"

"What's your codename?"

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Okay I have edited this chapter to add a little song by Ashlee Simpson and to let you know that the next chapter is coming up real soon… I know it took me almost a week but I was over my head with thinking… thinking of the right codename, the next chapter, the ending and songs, yes! I have tried to research more songs and I've also edited a few chapters, it's also been hard because I've been thinking of the bumps and stuff so I would really appreciate if you keep those reviews coming! Here is our little rating system… Yes it is back!

O- Outstanding and why?

E- Exceeds Expectations and why?

A- Acceptable and why?

P- Poor and why?

D- Dreadful and why?

It's like my new grading system since its Summer here in the Philippines and I have no class. Oh and if you are a little confused in the events that occurred in this chapter feel free to ask.


	11. The Codenames

**Disclaimer: Oh How I wish I own thee**

**The characters that you see**

**But JK Rowling is the genius behind it**

**And I am just a humble twit**

**Chapter 11-The First Prank**

"It's-"

"No! No! Wait! I want to guess!" Alexa exclaimed as she shut Lily's mouth with her hand. Lily, unable to scowl, bit Alexa's hand instead.

"Ouch!" she cried. "Is it by any chance, Venomous Snapping Turtle?" she added while blowing her now throbbing hand.

"Snapping Turtles are not venomous, Genius" Lily added a little sarcasm on the latter.

"Whatever… where were we?"

"I believe you were about to guess my codename"

"Oh Yeah… Is it _red haired Gryffindor_?"

"Wow… How could you get less obvious than that?" Lily said with sarcasm.

"Fine, _Penguin girl_?"

"I was a First Year! Can you blame me?" Lily said in exasperation.

"You had Penguin Pajamas!" Alexa smirked.

"Perfectly normal" Lily argued.

"Penguin socks?"

"You have a menagerie of stuffed unicorns in your bed!" Lily jumped to stand up and pointed an accusing finger to Alexa.

"Penguin bed sheets!" Alexa exclaimed also standing up.

"Baby Blanket!"

"Member of the Penguin lovers club!"

"….called Ashley!" Lily screamed.

Alexa let out a gasp and screeched "Penguin knickers!"

Both girls widened their eyes and Lily fell back to Alexa's bed. Alexa followed and began blubbering.

"Sorry! Sorry! That was uncalled for… Can we just forget about this?" Alexa asked worriedly.

"Okay… But you broke the friendship's Golden Rule" Lily said quietly. The Golden Rule- "Do not speak of any secrets classified in the X Files without the owner of the secret's permission."

"I know… Okay… Why don't I just stop guessing…Truce?" Alexa let out her hand and Lily shook it.

"Of Course" Lily hugged Alexa and screamed. "Barbie T-Shirt!"

"Lily!" Alexa shouted.

"Okay! Okay! Sorry… now back to business" Lily said while wiping her tears of laughter.

"What is your codename?" Alexa asked.

"Get ready for this… It's _Marauderette_!" Lily replied happily.

Silence

"Well?" Lily said anxiously.

"That's it?" Alexa said bluntly.

"What? Why? What did you expect?"

"Well I expect more creativity and decoration like Fruit Punch Princess or Fluffy Puffy Taffy but Marauderette? Pffff"

"Well excuse me for not preferring Fluffy Puffy Taffy and choosing a much simpler one that I happen to like, Well I'm going to sleep now!" Lily said and started to go to her bed when Alexa pulled her feet back making Lily fly back to the bet.

"Hey! That hurt!" Lily complained while rubbing her rear.

"Have you thought of any pranks?" Alexa inquired.

Silence

"Don't tell me you have nothing planned!"

"Well…"

"Okay, I have something thought up; I'll just tell you tomorrow… honestly, what will you do without me?"

"Yeah… What would I do without you, Bye" Lily said quickly and started to leave when Alexa pulled Lily's leg back making Lily fly back to the bed- again.

"What is with you and injuring me?"

"You do realize that your codename will definitely make the marauders angry, right? I mean really angry" Alexa said in a serious tone.

"Exactly, that's why it's perfect" Lily replied mischievously. "Now, can you please let go of my leg?"

**Boys Dormitories**

"Prongs, what is taking you so long?" Remus shouted. The marauders were all gathered in Sirius' bed for a very important meeting.

"Prongs, Do you need help brushing your teeth?" Sirius called.

Silence

"Okay I'm going in…" Sirius announced and marched towards the bathroom door and opened it, revealing a certain tousle haired boy leaning on the wall with a dreamy expression and had toothpaste bubbles protruding from his mouth.

"Hey! I know that expression!" Remus exclaimed from behind Sirius. "Is Lily Evans in our bathroom?"

"No" James replied through the bubbles.

"Don't tell me you fell in love with the toothbrush because that would really be weird I mean your toothbrush's not even hot mine on the other hand is-"

"I heard her shout from her dorm…" James said dreamily interrupting Sirius' babble about how hot his toothbrush is.

"The toothbrush?" asked Remus.

"No… Lily…" James sighed.

The rest groaned but Sirius picked up a bucket filled with water and threw it on James head.

"Hey! Who turned off the lights?" James said angrily as the bucket fell squarely on his head.

"Just relax Prongs… Remember what Lily did in Herbology" Sirius said in a mystic voice and began dragging James to his bed.

"So you're kidnapping him now?" Remus chuckled.

Sirius looked at James who was currently stating how Lily's hair bounced. "Nah… He seems to be willing and if you have a better idea on removing him from that wall just let me know"

When they were already near the bed, "You can walk by yourself now I mean ever heard of 'The South Beach Diet?'" Sirius said and he jumped on his bed.

"Okay…" James said and since he still has a bucket on his head he began walking in circles until he hit a bedpost.

"Ouch!" James cried as the bucket split in two. "Who put this bucket in on my head?" he demanded.

"Just think of Lily…" Remus said slowly.

"Oh Yeah… In Transfiguration-"

"Roll Call!" Remus called.

"Duke Padfoot?"

"Present"

"Juggler Wormtail?"

"Present"

"Prince Prongs?"

"Lily"

"Okay, Now that, that's settled… Duke Padfoot what do you wish to discuss?"

"I wish to discuss my prank in the Prank Tournament"

"What's your codename?" Peter asked.

"It is 'The No.1 Marauder"

"Hey I disagree with that!" James yelled breaking from his trance.

"Oh please, every one knows that you're The Master Marauder even though I think the Marauder twit would be appropriate, Moony's The Marauder Genius and Wormtail is The Littlest Marauder"

"Okay enough of that well according to Frank we have to make one individual prank and a house prank, what are you planning on doing first?"

"Well I wish to do my individual prank on Snape and I will prank the whole of Slytherin"

"Okay, is that all?"

"No! Wait! I wish to ask for your help to recruit allies so I can win the bet" James announced.

"What are you suggesting?"

"We ask Alexa Deux for help…"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wow… I'm so sorry if that was very short… there was supposed to be more but my brother kept hogging the computer but I do hope you like it and I kind of edited Chapter 10 so please read it AGAIN… I just added some stuff and please keep those reviews coming… It really helps in making the story knowing that someone likes it anyway the rating system is back!

O- Outstanding and why?

E- Exceeds Expectations and why?

A- Acceptable and why?

P- Poor and why?

D- Dreadful and why?

I'd definitely love a review... Thanx! Don't worry I'll try to update soon...


	12. The First Prank

**Disclaimer: Oh How I wish I own thee**

** The characters that you see**

** But JK Rowling is the genius behind it**

** And I am just a humble twit**

**Chapter 12- The First Prank**

**Morning in the Girls Dorm**

Ahhh… How I love the morning, the peace, the silence, the noise? Let's see what's up…

"Lily Evans! Open those bright green eyes of yours and move your to-die-for arse here!" a certain brunette whom we all know as Alexa, screamed. A little lump under the sheets moaned. "5 more minutes, Petunia…"

Alexa groaned and finally said (quite loudly) "You better move your arse before I call James to do it for you" at this, Lily bolt upright.

"Huh? James, Where?"

"That's it, Good girl… Now do you want to hear your first prank ever or what?"

"Umm… Okay" at this Alexa jumped on the bed and whispered something to Lily. Lily's eyes widened and yelled. "Alexa, you are so mean!"

"I would have preferred genius but mean sounds nice, so what do you say?"

"Let's get the equipment!"

**The Great Hall-The Marauders**

James woke up early that Thursday just to sneak into Hogsmeade and after his little trip he was quite hungry so he headed to the Great Hall.

"Prongs, what took you so long?" Sirius called to James as James entered the Great Hall.

Along the way James tripped Snape as Snape went out, signed a few autographs, piled 10 pancakes on his plate, stole the syrup from Peter and poured all of it in his plate and replied, "You fell asleep on the Invisibility Cloak and I had to get it off without earning a black eye" in a matter of 20 seconds.

"Oh so did you get the good stuff?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah…" James held out a bag of 'Trilly's Triple Tongue Twisters' (I just got the name of the candy from another fanfic entitled 'Just that Simple' in another website, please don't sue me) It makes the words of the one who uses it come out as if his/her tongue is knotted. "So have you guys got the Cockroach Cluster?

"Here it is!" Peter held a plastic bag containing the oh-so-pungent Cockroach Cluster.

"Brilliant work, Garbage Picker Wormtail! I'm promoting you to Head Garbage Picker" James announced.

"Umm… James, I'm your only Garbage Picker" Peter said.

"You ungrateful little scumbag, after all the things we did for you, this is how you thank us?" Sirius said in mock anger.

"Duke Padfoot is correct! We helped you brew that love potion for that Ravenclaw girl you were infatuated with," James added.

"For your information, Instead of making the girl fall for me she fell for Moony and Frank Longbottom found the bottle of leftover potion thinking it was a Cheering potion and drank it!"

"Well, It doesn't sound that bad, Garbage Picker Wormtail" James said.

"Frank fell in love with me instead of that Ravenclaw girl!" Peter whined. "And his girlfriend, Alice Porter nearly hexed me to the next decade!"

"Oh… So you were that guy…" Sirius said reminiscently.

"Anyway, we have to find Snivellus" Sirius said and the rest of the marauders nodded and stood up.

"Exactly what are we going to do to Snivellus?" asked Remus.

"We're going to put the Leg-Locking curse on him and make him eat the Triple Tongue Twisters and put the Cockroach Cluster in his pants" Sirius replied.

"How-creative…" James said. It was almost 10 minutes and they still haven't found Snape and James was beginning to get impatient.

…X….

"Okay… Is he tied up already?" Alexa whispered. The girls were under black cloaks and in the Boy's bathroom. What they're doing there? You'll find out soon.

"Yep… Let me put this card" Lily stuck a card on the toilet saying, "You've been _pranked _by _The Marauderette"_

"Okay so do the spell" Alexa urged.

"Okay…"

…X…

It was almost 15 minutes when James decided to ask for directions.

"Lily Love, do you by any chance know where Snivellus is?" James called to our favorite red head.

"I think I found him in the third floor" Lily replied and with a quick smile she was off.

"C'mon Prongs let's go" Remus said but James was glued to the ground and was staring at Lily's back.

"Hey, mate… try not to burn a hole in her back" Peter said.

"Did you see that?" James squealed.

"See what?"

"She smiled at me…" James gushed.

"Oh brother… I'm taking things in my own hands!" Sirius grabbed James' collar and dragged him upstairs but on their way the sight they saw shocked them out of their wits. There, in the third floor, wearing a safety helmet and tied to a rampaging-and moving toilet was Severus Snape.

…X…

"AAAAHHHH! RUN!" Sirius screamed and they scrambled to run away from the surprisingly fast toilet which by some coincidence chased after them. This went on for 10 minutes when Remus finally got tired and stunned the toilet.

"Hey why didn't you do that sooner?" James said breathlessly.

"I enjoyed running anyway the stunning spell won't last that long so let's run, we missed first period already."

"You mean we're going to leave snivelly?" Peter said. The rest looked at Snape and at Peter.

"I guess we are" Peter muttered then they ran to the nearest classroom only to discover that the door was locked.

"Well, this place seems safe…" Sirius muttered then all of a sudden the Charms classroom door flew wide open knocking down the marauders to the ground, leaving them there to be trampled and crushed.

"You-ouch-spoke-ouch-too-ouch-soon" James gasped as the students stepped on him.

"Agh… oogh…eep, my aching Spleen!" Sirius moaned. This went on for 5 minutes when the stampede finally stopped leaving the four unfortunate boys to bleed and die because of blood loss.

"Is it over?" Remus asked. "Are we in heaven?"

"Judging from all the pain, I'd say were in hell" James said.

"Hey James…" Lily suddenly said and James bolt upright.

"Hey Lils… erm… hi" James stammered and mentally scolded himself for his appearance and his lack of decent sentence forming. "So how are you?"

"Better than you've been, obviously" Lily replied. "Your robe is dirty, your tie's loose, and your hair is dusty, your glasses are broken and your face is bloody, best be off bye" Lily smiled and took a few steps on the remaining marauders (Agh, oof, eep) and disappeared.

"Prongs, as much as I enjoy the miracle of you two lovebirds talking to each other without anyone breaking an eardrum could you by any chance pull us upward since you're all straight and upright? You're wonderful scarlet desire stepped on us" Sirius snapped.

Silence

"Hey, Prongs!"

"Did you see that?" James gushed.

"Oh No" Remus cried.

"Please don't say it! I might have to murder you…"

"She smiled at me" James finally said with a dreamy expression.

Loud groans and Sirius saying "Why can't I use my limbs now that I need it?" followed.

…X…

"I can't believe it worked, Alexa!" Lily exclaimed as they were headed towards the Great Hall for dinner.

"Yeah, me too-whoa!" Alexa yelped as 4 pairs of arms pulled her inside a broom closet.

…X…

"Okay… Now that we're all neat and shiny, no thanks to Prongs here let Operation Recruit Alexa Deux begin!" Sirius announced. The boys were inside a broom closet ready to kidnap Alexa when she passes by.

"She smiled at me! What did you expect?" James protested.

"Well it is Lily Evans… what did you expect from a lovesick puppy like him?" Remus said.

"Hey!"

"Wait! I see her coming!" Peter announced.

"Okay! Let's pull her in"

What happened next was quite a scene. James and Remus pulled Alexa's arms, Sirius covered her mouth and Peter, Well Peter tried to make himself some room because the broom closet is going to be crowded.

"Alexa Deux you are officially held prisoner of the marauders" Sirius said when they were all settled.

…X…

"What?" Alexa hissed as she looked at the four shining faces of the boys inside the broom closet.

"But don't worry we will release you" James assured. "In one condition" James added and an evil grin appeared on his face.

"Uh Oh… I have a bad feeling about this" Alexa muttered.

"Don't worry we just want you to help us with the bet that James officially named 'The 50 First Bumps" Remus said.

"Oh… You want me to help make Lily bump into you?" Alexa asked.

"Yep… So will you?" James said hopefully.

Alexa pretended to think and finally said. "Of Course, I think Lily and you would make a fantastic couple"

"Alexa, Where are you?" a voice called from outside.

"I think that's her, you can go now" Alexa started to get out when James said. "And Alexa, Thanks"

"No problem" Alexa whispered. "Hey Lily I'm here!"

…X…

"Oh Alexa, where did you disappear to?" Lily asked.

"Nowhere… Hey what's that?" Alexa pushed Lily towards a painting opposite of the broom closet giving the marauders a time to escape.

"Umm… It's a painting, are you feeling alright?" Lily asked.

"Of Course, hey did you know that walking backwards is good for the heart?" Alexa then started to position Lily to walk backwards.

"What? Oh-Okay" then they clumsily walked towards the Great Hall backwards, earning them a lot of weird looks and an unfortunate bump with James.

…X…

Is Alexa a great accomplice or what? I know this chapter is quite awkward but I did try… Anyway I hope you like it, it took me so long to finish it and make it longer so like my science teacher says after a boring lecture "Any Violent reactions? Irrelevant Questions, and then she'd call my name and scold me for talking, drawing, breathing etc., never a day without a scold from her, except on Tuesdays because we don't have a class with her-oh how I love that day… well I do hope you like this chapter and if you do, let me know by this:

_O- Outstanding and why?_

_E- Exceeds Expectations and why?  
_

_A- Acceptable and why?_

_P- Poor and why?_

_D- Dreadful and why?_

_Info:_

_Since Alexa is such a great accomplice Lily and James bumped for 5 times that evening, The walking backwards thing and Alexa chose to leave the table exactly when the marauders were passing by so they bump, then when they got in the Common Room and when they were about to leave to sleep and when Lily returned to the Common Room because she forgot her books. Oh and Lily was the one who pranked Snape and the Marauderette was the latest buzz among the Gryffindors._

_Bump Countdown: 24 Bumps to go!_


	13. The Super Troopers and a Little Surprise

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything but the plot…and I am not making any money out of this whatsoever…

**Will The Weird:** I know you must all be furious and angry for me disappearing from the face of the earth, well this just took so long to finish but I have some guys to introduce to you, these people are found in my comic strip whom I still haven't published and is found in my drawer due to the fact that I'm still a 13 year old and not a very good one at that, lemme introduce you to my split personalities who is gonna help me today…

**Will the Morbid Dark Child**: ….

**Will the Bouncing Mary Sunshine**: Hello!

**Will the Weird**: also known as WMDC and WBMS, I'm sorry for not updating sooner but you see, Dysfunctional Brain+ Lazy ass Not Good…

**WMDC**: Gee, I wonder where you got the dysfunctional brain from. (Looks pointedly at WBMS)

**WBMS**: It's definitely not from me…

**WMDC**: Riiiiight…

**Will the Weird**: See what I have to deal with in my head? On with the fic!

**Chapter 13- The Super Troopers and a Little Surprise**

That same Thursday night, the name Marauderette spread through the whole Gryffindor house like wildfire. Many were amazed by her first prank and a few had been very angry with her. It started out when Lily bumped into James inside the Common Room (Remember the Info Box in the Chapter 12).

"Ugh… Leave me alone, Potter" Lily hissed and walked far away from James. James did not follow Lily but his eyes did and something snapped.

"Okay… Everybody, turn your heads this way," Frank Longbottom called out from the top of a coffee table. "You too, Potter"

"Nah… I can still hear you clearly this way-er-go on, go on" was James weird reply.

"Okay, as you may have all known a prank has occurred just this morning" Frank stated.

"There was?" a number of the students called.

"Yes, it involved Snape wearing a safety helmet and was tied to a rampaging toilet," Frank paused for the Oooh's and Ahhhh's to enter and continued "That's not all, by some coincidence my sources tells me that the toilet was charmed to chase 4 people whom we all know as James Potter (looks of horror from The James Potter Fan Club), Remus Lupin (gasp from audience), Peter Pettigrew (silence), and Sirius Black"

"That's a lie! That's a lie! Why you no good-" And Sirius was bounded by the body binding charm

"Am I safe from physical harm?" Frank asked.

"Yep" Remus replied.

"Moving on… Now from my trusted sources this prankster calls himself or rather herself, The Marauderette, so to whoever you are I'm giving you 50 points for your prank, goodnight everyone"

At that he left the common room buzzing with gossip about this new prankster.

"Well whoever this is you're going to have a hard time beating her, Padfoot, Padfoot? For goodness sake why are you lying on the floor?" Remus asked.

Sirius, unable to reply sent a glare instead.

"Er-Remus you petrified him earlier," Peter said helpfully.

"Oh Yeah, _Finite_" and at that Sirius bounced on a chair.

"Do you know what this means?" He asked in a military voice.

"No"

"Well I'll tell you what it means," Sirius said while suspiciously looking around. "It means someone is plotting to PULL US DOWN" He added a bit of force on the latter.

Remus and Peter exchanged raised brows while Sirius was busy muttering profanities.

"Who exactly are we talking about?" Remus asked.

"WHO ELSE BUT THAT WRETCHED NEW PRANKSTER!" Sirius bellowed causing the rest to yelp.

"Well Sirius, she does have a right to prank whomever and whenever she pleases" Remus said fairly.

"Remus! She calls herself The Marauderette and she pranked Snape and that means she wants to prank Slytherins and no one else but US and the kid that thinks he's a monkey and lives in the cupboard in the 5th floor PRANKS the Slytherins especially Snape as stated by the Gryffindor Code of Laws! SHE WANTS TO BRING US DOWN AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING? (Peter immediately hid a jar of play-do he was attempting to play with) I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I WILL NOT STAND HERE AND PLAY WITH A JAR OF CLAY WHILE SOMEONE PLOTS TO BRING US DOWN ESPECIALLY SINCE THAT PERSON IS A GIRL!" applause and tears from the Sirius Black Fan Club "Are you with me?"

Silence

Glare from Sirius.

"Yeah, Of Course" Peter replied quickly.

"First of all, there are no laws like that and whatever but just to shut you up" Remus muttered. Then the three of them looked at James expectantly whose head was currently in an odd angle.

"PRONGS, First you don't help us then you go all moony ("Hey what's wrong with moony?") And now you're not even pretending to listen! What happened this time?" Sirius said exasperatedly.

"Oh No… I think I know that look," Peter said nervously.

"You do? What is it?" Remus asked.

"Girl Watcher's Stiff Neck!" Peter announced.

"This is not Girl Watcher's stiff neck, this is a-er- new posture I'm trying out in case of a photo emergency" James said defensively.

"Riiiight… And Peter's going to be Minister for Magic and Moony's going to stop alphabetizing his books and join a nudist colony," Sirius announced.

"Hey!"

"Does this hurt?" Remus asked and pulled James's neck correctly but James shrieked so loud that it caused confusion inside the Common Room and the rest of the students began yelling and screaming and well, running.

Sirius began jumping on the armchairs and yelling like Tarzan while Peter sang a version of the theme song of the movie 'George of The Jungle' only it goes more like,

"_Sirius, Sirius, Sirius of the armchairs! Watch out for that chair_" But like the movie Sirius never listened and ended up having his face squashed by the oh-so-comfy armchairs.

James was another story, while he was screaming in anguish our favorite red head bumped into him, in the process curing his stiff neck.

"I'M HEALED!" James cried and without thinking kissed Lily flat on the lips. (Am I hearing whistles and Applause or am I mistaken?)

The kiss lasted for only 2 seconds but to Lily it was the best 2 seconds of her life although she'd never say that aloud, the sweet and pleasant warmness that tingled her lips and touched the depths of her soul and the jolt of electricity from the touch that claimed her mind. But her heart was not yet owned, so out of instinct shoved James away. But before that she went into 3 stages of shock.

Well…Shock

_Omigod! What the bloody hell is Potter doing?_

Then, Delight

_Hey, it's not that bad_

And Lastly, Pride

_What the? This is Potter! No way am I making out with him…_

"Ugh… Stay away from me Potter" Lily said harshly and stomped away. Unknown to the stunned people Lily was having a hard time to keep a straight face and when finally in the safety of her bed let out a face wide grin and a muffled squeal.

**Back in the Common Room**

People kept looking back at the Girls Staircase then at James then at the placard Sirius and Remus were holding.

"Well I thought it was pretty nice," James finally said.

Sirius and Remus raised their brows.

"Okay so I did have a stiff neck but not a Girl Watcher's Stiff Neck," James admitted.

The rest gave him a look.

"Well Sirius we're too late" Remus said stuffing his placard inside his book bag.

"Yep but not for this one" Sirius grinned and showed James a sign saying, _'Jump for Joy'._

"YEAH," James pumped his fists in the air and exclaimed, "YAHOOO! WHOOPPEEE! HAPPY! SHALALALA! IT'S SO NICE TO BE HAPPY! SHALALALA! C'MON JOIN ME SIRIUS!" Then Sirius let out a dog-like bark and he and James began jumping on the armchairs while James rejoiced and Sirius yelled like Tarzan, Peter joined in and began singing _Sirius, Sirius, Sirius of the armchairs! Watch out for that chair,_ Then it would be followed by an "OOF". Remus followed suit and began throwing them pillows.

Lily returned downstairs due to her forgotten books and bumped into the still rejoicing James while he was in the middle of his victory dance.

…X…

It was Friday morning in the Great Hall and the marauders were in high spirits well, three of the marauders-Sirius seems to be missing.

"Where's Sirius?" James asked while swiping Peter's brownie.

"Hey!"

"Well he said he had something to do" Remus replied when all of a sudden something exploded in the Slytherin table and after the smoke was settled a Pink haired Snape with a very muggle-ish 70's attire and an outrageous pink wig appeared and he appeared to be getting something off his pants CoughCockroach ClusterCough when all of a sudden his face turned red and he began singing 'Play That Funky Music' by Vanilla Ice complete with Dance moves and head banging.

He then jumped on the table and well began dancing to an outraged Lucius Malfoy and very amused Slytherins. He was in the last part of the song….

_Lay Down and Boogie and play that funky music till' you die!_

Complete with the dramatic kneeling and explosive fireworks and it turns out the fireworks spelled, "_Brought to you by the No.1 Marauder_".

"He's gone mental!" Lucius exclaimed and the Slytherins began dragging the still very 70-ish Snape at the same time body binding him to prevent him from singing a song by MC Hammer.

By that time the Marauders were already rolling in laughter.

"Sirius has definitely outdone himself this time" James laughed.

When all of a sudden, "Potter! Lupin! Pettigrew! Black!"

"Uh Oh…" Remus muttered.

"Leave this to me," James muttered and faced McGonagall with a charming smile. "Don't woryy Professor we'll be off to class"

"Stop-"

"Don't worry we'll keep out of trouble"

"But-"

"Thanks for your concern but we must leave- wouldn't want to be late for History of Magic!"

"Yes, we wouldn't want that!"

Then they were off leaving a very stunned McGonagall.

…X…

"Prongs! Moony!" a very happy Sirius sang as the others were heading to History of Magic.

"Well there you are," James said. "What did you do to Snape?"

"I'm afraid I'm much to modest to claim that I was the one who slipped the 'Portable 70's attire pill' and the 'Sing a Muggle tune tablet' in his meal and had charmed the Cockroach Cluster in his pants and planted the fireworks to create the best prank Hogwarts has ever seen for a very long time" Sirius said quickly.

"Modest?"

"Anyway, look at what I got!" Sirius exclaimed showing them a pile of robes.

"What-is-this?" James said while wrinkling his nose.

"This is the official uniform of the Super Troopers, as you can see it is made of black leather and is complete with a hood and a Super Trooper badge." Sirius said proudly. The badge was made of wood and was shaped like a shield and had a large ST in the middle written by…

"Quill? When exactly did you make this?" James asked.

"Oh… 2 minutes ago…" Sirius replied.

And written in the sides of the shield shaped wood was 'To search for threatening pranksters'

"What is this?" Remus asked pointing to the line.

"Oh that's our motto!" Sirius replied happily.

"And since when did we agree to join this-club?" Remus asked.

"Oh you don't have a choice," Sirius replied simply.

"He got us there," Peter said.

"Exactly, the Super Troopers is an exclusive club formed by Hogwarts best troublemakers and sole purpose is to search for threatening pranksters and dispose of them the best way we can," Sirius said quickly "So do you want to hear the group anthem?"

…X…

Will the Weird: Thank God it's done! Pls. Review! Now I may have to thank some reviewers…

WMDC: Does it look like I want to thank someone?

Will the Weird: Do I look like I'm in the mood for someone with her period?

WMDC: For your info. It was last week and I was nice as nice as I can be

Will The Weird: Which is not saying much WBMS you go do it for her

WBMS: Thanks to: Eimme, Fire Arrow, Auramistealia, Pau-Pao, WriterMoony,Chrissy8887779999, butterfly-grl4, the-girl-named-kittie, Tikyah Ariel, tigerlily86... whew... that was tiring...

Will The Weird: I know nobody's asked me any questions but here are some questions I think you should have asked.

WBMS: I think your chapters should be longer, can you make it longer?

WMDC: I'M TRYING I'M TRYING!

WBMS: Will the next update be quicker?

WMDC: Depends on the amount of reviews… Mwahahahahaha….

WBMS: That wasn't very nice…

WMDC: I care?

WBMS: Fine, Will James win?

WMDC: Can't tell you, Will the Weird's threatening to destroy my CD's…

WBMS: How many chapters are left?

WMDC: I'm thinking until 20…

WBMS: Will there be a sequel?

WMDC: Depends on the reviews… mwahahahahahaha…

WBMS: Are we still on the next update?

Will the Weird: Okay guys that's enough, making me show you these guys is very rare, occurs when I'm very pleased with the amount of reviews so PLS REVIEW!

WBMS: Yeah I really want to come back!

Info: James bumped into Lily 5 times that day so….

Bump Countdown: 19 Bumps to go!

**Next Chapter: The Super Trooper Escapades! **


End file.
